Dark Ally

1.25.15
“Darkness can be an ally.” -Chaparral

Dark Ally

I sit atop an open tower cloaked in Darkness.

Deep in my heart is only night,
  fear runs a finger down my spine,
and a shiver moves my soul.

I yearn for light
       but darkness stretches
              as far as I can see.

I open my mouth
to shout a defiant yell.

      Instead,
the darkness
     muffles
 the sound and
      pushes it,
          

 pushes it
     
        back
            down.

I choke on the blackness
  that begins to fill me up.

I consciously pause…

hold the dark in my mouth…

 

                                 refusing to drown.

And suddenly,
  I am aware of a spark on my tongue,

a dark shimmer
 that infuses my being.

 I pull those sparks
      deeper
into my being.

              Absorbing ever more of the darkness,

the darkness carrying silver,

until I can hold no more.

And still,

I push down
    and compress,

                         compress it all,
            to make more room.

Until I realize,
 it needs to come back out 

and I

Explode.

I explode with fireworks of sparking dark,
spreading the Milky Way
  in
     a
        path.

In a path back to the edge of time, where I stand.

I stand atop an open tower,

            throwing off a cloak of Light.

        

I am

I am light, beauty, tranquility, truth.

BUT…

I am also darkness, ugliness, turmoil, deceit.

BUT…

                I am growth, joy, comfort, life.

                                BUT…

                I am also decay, sorrow, pain, death.

                                And…

                                I am anger, fear, sobbing, doubt.

                                BUT…

                                I am also delight, courage, laughter, hope.

I am all that is good, all that is evil, 

                                  all that builds up, all that destroys.

                I stand at the center of paradox,

                                Every day.

                I choose one or the other,

                                                Every moment.

                I contemplate hurt or healing,

                                                                Every breath.

Who I am.

Who I was.

Who I will be.

I am hatred, disgust, scorn, envy, and revenge.

AND…

I am love, sympathy, delight, pleasure, and forgiveness.

I am everything and nothing, the beginning and the end.

I am the seed of endless possibility, 

                                       awaiting the spring rains and warming sun.

Creation

The Space You Hold

Contains more than just you.

The space you hold

Encompasses width, height, death, birth.

The space you hold reaches to the end of the galaxy,

The edge of the Universe,

The innermost reaches of the soul.

The space you hold

Brings light to darkness,

A flow of equilibrium,

A quantum sense to the macro,

A macro view to the quantum.

The space you hold

Flies dragons to the moon,

Sees beyond the veil,

Sings up the rising sun,

Dances in the north wind,

Howls with the coyotes,

Kisses rainbows,

Tastes snow-capped mountains,

Runs across oceans,

Swims in unknown stars,

Holds a newborn baby with the gentle caress of the very first snowflake.

The space you hold

Is the space I reside in.

The space you dwell in,

Is the space I hold.

Because the space I hold,

Contains more than just me.

The space I hold

Circles back to where you are.

The space I hold

Explores the depths of my being,

Reaches for the stars,

Delights in the journey.

The space I hold

Looks to the future,

Regards the past,

Stands in place,

While touching every point in time.

The space I hold

Flies beneath the sands,

Flows above the southern lights,

Wraps up in the cherry blossoms,

Plays amongst the flames,

Cries into the hollow spaces,

Breathes in the summer rains,

Spins between the tumbling notes of a golden symphony,

Listens to the breath of a butterfly.

The space I hold,

Is the space you hold,

Is the space you hold,

Is the space I hold.

I hold my space,

And enmesh with the space you hold,

And we hold space,

For all that is.

Memory of a Kiss

The memory of your kiss
lingers in the twilight of my dreams,
Rousing me to wistful wakefulness
and I ache for the curve of your caress.

I long for the enrapture of
entanglement
of our limbs.

Enthralling,
Intertwined,
Ecstatic.

My soul searches for your scent-memory,
flooding my mind with wave after wave
of decadent desire.

The taste of your tongue
tantalizes me
with a yearning for
You.

So...

I slide back into slumber,
and wrap myself around
The memory of your kiss.

Darkness & Light

Letting you see
the darkness that is me
in the midst of the light

Letting me be
the possibility
as I stand within the night

Lightness flows
and darkness flares
igniting the fulcrum of life

I run from the center of me
Until I realize I've run back to me
and embrace the darkness
that I cannot escape

I run to the center of me
And discover the light
held in my darkness
and I see
me

Crowning Crone

Northern realms prepare for
a time of inward contemplation.
Leaves turn from green
to golden, crimson, and dusty brown.
Geese fly to warmer climes;
food is stored;
sustained warmth is planned;
and cold winds howl through frozen snows.

Raven stands guard over it all,
watching winter come from all.
Crone stands with this guide,
in rooted power and selfless pride.

She holds her space
in the midst of chaos,
and laughs from the depths
of deepest darkness.
Knowing she embraces and embodies
the eternal Circle
that connects us all.

Getting to the Root of Me

I crawl among the branches
  of the roots of my soul,
     as the worries of my thoughts
       take wing to the sky.
        I climb further down
          to the core of my being,
           and peer into the recesses
            of my inner darkness.
             And there I see an
              ancient crone
               sitting in repose,
                sipping from the nectar
                 of the gods,
                   clad in the robes
                    of the goddesses.
                      I commune with the
                         beginning of time,
                       the edge of the universe,
                      the center of existence.
                  And I see the thread of
                connection from me to my
             crone, to her crones all the
         way back...to me.
       I breathe deep and
      absorb them all into my heart center
    and hold them there
   as I climb back to the
  upper roots of the branches
 of my physicality.
 And return to here.
Now.