Aging

Aging

Fifty
“Age is just a number”

51
A number that denotes a passage of time
52
A passage of time through space
53
Specific space
54
Around a specific star
55
In an agreed upon division of both time and space.
56

“Grow old gracefully”
57
Where “gracefully” means attractively and elegantly
58
Where brawn is more important that brain
59
…smooth away wrinkles and fine lines
60
…hide your grey
61
…try to look 10 years younger
62


“Growing old is not growing up”
63
And “youth is wasted on the young”
64
Yet we race to stay young
65
As our bodies slide towards oblivion
66


I still wonder at the Universe
67
And think I can move mountains
68
So don’t tell me I can’t and shouldn’t and ought not to
69
Because I will and I can and yes I should
70


“Today is the oldest you’ve ever been…
71
…and the youngest you’ll ever be again.”
72
Some old person said that,
73
At some point in the past
74
Eleanor Roosevelt, I believe.
75
But well before my time
76


So I stand at the intersection
77
of Life and of Death
78
of Youth and of Old Age

70-NINE
..aaannddd
80
Ready or not…
Here I come
Still looking for home base
So I can be Safe.
.
.
.
Olly olly oxen free
Found you!
You’re It!
Let's play again.

1
New life caught in an inhalation of Be-ing
2
No peeking!

Three

Threads of Grief

     I hold a tendril of sanity

with hands unsteady

       unsure 

             worrying the frayed edges 

                    with my thoughts

                                anxieties 

                                          what ifs

                                          and 

                    why nots

              and 

                what if I’m wrongs 

The tension of the passers-by

 held in the tightness of their faces

   Their dread

      symptoming into blossoming 

              dis-ease

                     PRESSES

against my ribcage

      squeezing my heart into 

palpitating stillness

My heart shatters 

And my spirit cries into the 

   miasmic howl

       searching

calling

  beseeching 

the Universe 

for release

 I no longer recognize the tendrils that I have gathered

 

while trying to weave some coherent tapestry

        of

            my

                Life

And in those moments

            grief 

            spills

            out

    Sloshing across tenuously crafted knots

                Smearing ink across pages

                     Shrieking through the holes

        adding 

            harmonic counterpoint 

   to my 

        heart-rended cry

           

And all of the threads disperse 

away 

from 

me

                I catch my breath

            in gulping  

guttural 

sobs

   

    One strand glimmers and floats towards me

        a filament of barely-there hope

    I grasp it and

wrap myself 

        around it

 Hoping for reprieve   

The grief subsides and sits once more

the sadness dims and steps to the side

And I begin my thread gathering again

   unsteady 

          unsure 

             

              determined   

I am not in mourning

   but sadness dogs my every step

I am not grieving

  but grief sits next to me every moment

Seen in Grief

You let me see you, in your grief.

Your nervous defenses lay,

forgotten,

at your feet.

You looked at me,

not in defeat,

without pretense,

with no self-conscious deference.

There was no guile,

no fear,

no worry of being seen.

It was just you,

open,

heart and soul

bared to the elements.

Your spirit cried out 

for connection,

for soothing,

for shared peace.

And yet,

it was without supplication.

It was not demanding.

It was not entitled.

It was just you.

Your strength.

Your determination.

Your beauty.

Your grief.

You.

And in that moment,
I fell in love.

Sky Dragons Bones

Sky Dragons Bones
7.22.22

Bones of the Sky Dragons
flood the sky

The marrow splits and sparks
and the Dragons roar
as the bones crack with a thunderous tone

Disconnecting
Reconnecting
chasing themselves
to reassemble in various manners
of re-forming

The skins float in gauzy
translucent strips
catching errant breezes
shredding to nothingness
until they are able to condensate into
new skin

Some days
Sky Dragons travel in waves

Some days
they travel along the invisible ether
waiting for a precipitating event

Some days
they move in great piling clumps of
Sky Dragon Councils
sharing their thoughts
in great resonating rumbles

Sway

I sit at intersecting points
of time and space
witnessing the ebb and flow
of all eternity

Patterns sway
connecting then to now
intertwining music heard with
light seen

Time sways
as ancestral descendents
stretch through the infinite horizon
with hopes and dreams

Trees sway
to the time kept
by the swirl of sound
and upheaval of Be-ing

Space sways
from the edge of chaos
to the brink of
cellular order

Emotions sway
enveloping all the
highs and lows
and everything in between

Love sways
flowing from
me to the Universe
and back again

I sway
forward and back
caught in the deluge
of endless spirals

Infinity

 11.17.17

Tree of Light
   Tree of Dark

A crimson bull impales me upon his black horns

I watch as my life force drains away

I am washed away by the sea and the sea washes back 
         as me

light fades

darkness grows

and I dwindle 

    to an infinite point 

            of brilliant nothing

I let go of myself 
    and bid

        farewell

to all I was

all I hoped to be

all I could never be

And infinite darkness
                extinguishes
my point of light

And in the vast emptiness 
of time
and
space

I am all.

I am everything.

I am nothing.

                            And my pattern fills the void

as much as the void has overwhelmed me

I am not alone.

I am surrounded

                by me.

All I have ever been.

All I was meant to be.

All of infinity.

    

                    And I wash up on the shore,

            broken,

        complete,

                Everything,

                                    nothing.

As my ancestors
                    and descendants

                        watch

across time

and

space.

And I join with them
    as they join with me,
until we

                        mobius strip 

into each other.

        and all that is around us

                        becomes us.

            And we become all.

We become one.

       

Fire Cycle

Fire Cycle

By: GinaMarie 

2/6/22

Ashes drifting through the air

as embers wait around me.

Fuel lays prepped

ready  to stoke the fire,

waiting,

for the time

to spark.

I move things

and empty the furnace,

clearing away what will not

add to the flame.

The flame sparks,

igniting destruction.

Growing the fire--

adding fuel to the conflagration,

fanning the flame

to a height of infernic rage.

Feeding the dragon to sustain the power,

the light,

the heat,

the rejuvenation of being.

The rage declines to the point

of a steady  burn.

The flames lower and

the forge is ready to ignite creation.

Galaxies swirl, new life is born, 

and the fire subsides

into a deep space

of midnight ember.

And then,

I choose an ember

to hold,

and sustain,

and carry with me

for the next iteration of...

Ashes drifting through the air

as embers wait around me.