Dark Ally

1.25.15
“Darkness can be an ally.” -Chaparral

Dark Ally

I sit atop an open tower cloaked in Darkness.

Deep in my heart is only night,
  fear runs a finger down my spine,
and a shiver moves my soul.

I yearn for light
       but darkness stretches
              as far as I can see.

I open my mouth
to shout a defiant yell.

      Instead,
the darkness
     muffles
 the sound and
      pushes it,
          

 pushes it
     
        back
            down.

I choke on the blackness
  that begins to fill me up.

I consciously pause…

hold the dark in my mouth…

 

                                 refusing to drown.

And suddenly,
  I am aware of a spark on my tongue,

a dark shimmer
 that infuses my being.

 I pull those sparks
      deeper
into my being.

              Absorbing ever more of the darkness,

the darkness carrying silver,

until I can hold no more.

And still,

I push down
    and compress,

                         compress it all,
            to make more room.

Until I realize,
 it needs to come back out 

and I

Explode.

I explode with fireworks of sparking dark,
spreading the Milky Way
  in
     a
        path.

In a path back to the edge of time, where I stand.

I stand atop an open tower,

            throwing off a cloak of Light.

        

I am

I am light, beauty, tranquility, truth.

BUT…

I am also darkness, ugliness, turmoil, deceit.

BUT…

                I am growth, joy, comfort, life.

                                BUT…

                I am also decay, sorrow, pain, death.

                                And…

                                I am anger, fear, sobbing, doubt.

                                BUT…

                                I am also delight, courage, laughter, hope.

I am all that is good, all that is evil, 

                                  all that builds up, all that destroys.

                I stand at the center of paradox,

                                Every day.

                I choose one or the other,

                                                Every moment.

                I contemplate hurt or healing,

                                                                Every breath.

Who I am.

Who I was.

Who I will be.

I am hatred, disgust, scorn, envy, and revenge.

AND…

I am love, sympathy, delight, pleasure, and forgiveness.

I am everything and nothing, the beginning and the end.

I am the seed of endless possibility, 

                                       awaiting the spring rains and warming sun.