Possibly...

Hold on to possibility

Release and release and release again

Until all that we have 

has been

 transformed into all that we need

Until all that we need becomes all that we have

Plant the seeds of future growth

In the fertile soil of today’s preparation

Be here now

Now be here

Be

Here

Now

Until now is then

Until then is held in the palm of the hands of now

Until all that there is

Is present

Choosing the path that is going the direction travelled

And going the direction the path is travelling

Possibility is the seed of all that is

The seed that encodes the very growth of my future

That holds the heartache

The laughter

The jubilance

The terror

The entire essence of my being

The cusp of the pass

The turning points of good and bad choices

The culmination of

Ecstatic weeping

Desperate rejoicing

And angels dancing on heads of pins

Until there is nothing more to do than gather the fruit of who I am

Harvest the propagations of expectations

That have combined into an amassed silo of Be-ing

To sift through and discover the seeds of possibility

To sow into the future path of forever

Dark Ally

1.25.15
“Darkness can be an ally.” -Chaparral

Dark Ally

I sit atop an open tower cloaked in Darkness.

Deep in my heart is only night,
  fear runs a finger down my spine,
and a shiver moves my soul.

I yearn for light
       but darkness stretches
              as far as I can see.

I open my mouth
to shout a defiant yell.

      Instead,
the darkness
     muffles
 the sound and
      pushes it,
          

 pushes it
     
        back
            down.

I choke on the blackness
  that begins to fill me up.

I consciously pause…

hold the dark in my mouth…

 

                                 refusing to drown.

And suddenly,
  I am aware of a spark on my tongue,

a dark shimmer
 that infuses my being.

 I pull those sparks
      deeper
into my being.

              Absorbing ever more of the darkness,

the darkness carrying silver,

until I can hold no more.

And still,

I push down
    and compress,

                         compress it all,
            to make more room.

Until I realize,
 it needs to come back out 

and I

Explode.

I explode with fireworks of sparking dark,
spreading the Milky Way
  in
     a
        path.

In a path back to the edge of time, where I stand.

I stand atop an open tower,

            throwing off a cloak of Light.

        

I am

I am light, beauty, tranquility, truth.

BUT…

I am also darkness, ugliness, turmoil, deceit.

BUT…

                I am growth, joy, comfort, life.

                                BUT…

                I am also decay, sorrow, pain, death.

                                And…

                                I am anger, fear, sobbing, doubt.

                                BUT…

                                I am also delight, courage, laughter, hope.

I am all that is good, all that is evil, 

                                  all that builds up, all that destroys.

                I stand at the center of paradox,

                                Every day.

                I choose one or the other,

                                                Every moment.

                I contemplate hurt or healing,

                                                                Every breath.

Who I am.

Who I was.

Who I will be.

I am hatred, disgust, scorn, envy, and revenge.

AND…

I am love, sympathy, delight, pleasure, and forgiveness.

I am everything and nothing, the beginning and the end.

I am the seed of endless possibility, 

                                       awaiting the spring rains and warming sun.