Re-Forming Me

Re-Forming Me

I am standing my ground
            as the tempest roars

It swirls around me
                        threatening to rend my spirit from my soul
            to shred all of time and space
to rip the essence of my being from the very fiber of my existence

I breathe in the chaos
tasting bitter
                  choking dust
            drawing in every last bit
knowing
            there has to be clean air somewhere on the other side
  sucking for my last gasping breath

Until there is nothing for me to do but exhale

I hold onto it a bit longer
terrified that the exhalations will
            redefine destruction
as the chaos
                        exits
         my being

I open my mouth to
            PUSH OUT
                        the enraged roar building
              within the inhaled
                    whirlwind
        held within my core

And

out flow blessings
out flows new growth
out flows sweet water
out flow fresh winds of change

I empty my lungs and turn myself
            inside out
to completely clear the murky hurricane
from every darkened doorway
                                    crevice
                                       and pore
of my conscious and unconscious selves

And

I inhale the changed storm
            realigning the regurgitated me
until I am once again whole
                        intact
            complete and

                                                            Still

Standing my ground

Transubstantiation

(Originally posted: October 16, 2007; http://www.myspace.com/azginamarie/blog/319606208 )

Transubstantiation

Forgive me father, for I have sinned

What is sin but an act of unsacredness towards another

Hail Mary, full of grace
How can I ask for absolution
when there is no guilt inside

I've rent my clothes
I've cried many tears
Sackcloth and ashes
are the garments you wish me to wear

But I have no other pennance
I can do
that will make you realize
the pain that has been dealt to you
has been your own doing

You won't be free until you release me

So drive the wooden stake
deep
through my heart
Put to death the thing
that is
tearing out your own

Exorcise the demon
that possesses your thoughts
Free the phantom that haunts
your every dream

I won't be free until you forgive yourself

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